Modern Farmer has provided a handy resource to tell you what kind of chicken is right for you, but I was a little disappointed that they didn’t present it in Cosmo quiz form. So here’s the Grist List quiz, based on Modern Farmer’s chicken guide, to determine your chicken personality.
Your chicken would live:
a) In my mouth, after I cook it.
b) In a coop.
c) In my bed with me.
d) In the refrigerator, because it’s warmer than the yard.
e) In a gallery.
f) In a community garden.
You want to keep chickens because:
a) Two words: barbecue sauce.
b) One word: omelettes.
c) I need something, anything to love me.
d) I’m amassing more warm-blooded beings to huddle with.
e) Chickens are like poetry with wings.
f) They can fit in a drawer. Chickens can fit in a drawer, right?
When you watch the end of The Incredible Journey, you say:
a) “Those would be tasty with barbecue sauce.”
b) “Who cares, none of these animals lay eggs.”
c) Nothing because you are incoherent with weeping.
e) What fantastic cinematography!
f) Oh please, like I have a television.
On a Friday night, you’re usually:
a) Taking the 80 oz. steak challenge down at the Roadhouse.
b) Egging people’s houses.
c) Volunteering at the animal shelter.
e) Working on your masterpiece.
f) Trying to find enough room in your house to lie down.